Your stuff fools me into thinking you were a child of the ‘70s, although I’m pretty sure you weren’t. The inner tube descriptions are spot on, very evocative of the time. Those things were capable of raising blisters under the right circumstances. The Nehi reference isn’t wrong per se—I think the brand was available in Minnesota—but there are other brands that might be more place and time specific, like maybe Pop Shoppe. 1970 may be a little early for “dweeb.” A better choice might be “dork.” Don’t mind the unlikely ending with its avian impaler. You’re allowed creative license. Keep it up, Elizabeth. You’re a really good writer!
Your stuff fools me into thinking you were a child of the ‘70s, although I’m pretty sure you weren’t. The inner tube descriptions are spot on, very evocative of the time. Those things were capable of raising blisters under the right circumstances. The Nehi reference isn’t wrong per se—I think the brand was available in Minnesota—but there are other brands that might be more place and time specific, like maybe Pop Shoppe. 1970 may be a little early for “dweeb.” A better choice might be “dork.” Don’t mind the unlikely ending with its avian impaler. You’re allowed creative license. Keep it up, Elizabeth. You’re a really good writer!
I've never heard of Pop Shoppe! I'll have to look into it. And thank you!! And you're right, I missed the 70s. I like the music though! 😎
All right, that was interesting. 3 notes, 2 of them me being picky:
1) I didn't think people would get the "1-A" reference, but then you did mention the draft.
2) I don't think a Great Blue Heron would let anybody get close enough to have their eyes pecked; they really are wary.
3) Why is Mr Henderson, the math teacher, reading from Crime and Punishment, unless he's also an English teacher? I guess that's possible, but...
Thank you!
Ah - a cornered heron - did not think of that. They are big birds!
I did read they've attacked people who've tried to help them when caught in fishing line. So maybe one of the other characters could free it.
Yeah, that works. Any big bird is going to be unhappy and won't understand they are being helped.
1) the dialog in Mad Men refers to guys being 1-A, so I figured I could use it. 🤣
2) my thought was that he had cornered it somehow, but that the others didn't know how. Artistic license in any case haha.
3) yeah that one’s just a mistake. I'll fix it. 😅